[30.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, we're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast, and I'm your
[35.4s] dungeon master Russ More, and with me today is Tom Laird.
[38.8s] Hey, that's me, I'm OpSecond.
[41.4s] And Carla Johnson.
[42.4s] That's me.
[43.4s] Do I get to say who I'm playing is a secret?
[46.4s] It's a secret.
[47.4s] Yeah, sure.
[48.4s] You didn't say it last episode.
[49.4s] Secret.
[50.4s] Secret.
[51.4s] And Amy More.
[52.4s] Secret.
[53.4s] Good.
[54.4s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, we're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast,
[59.8s] Welcome to the new year, and, and our second year anniversary, which I just kind of forgot
[66.4s] about.
[67.4s] I didn't get you guys anything.
[70.0s] It's technically tomorrow, but I mean, that's close enough.
[73.2s] That's real close.
[74.2s] That's very close.
[75.2s] No?
[76.2s] Yeah, no, it's definitely a wonderful life.
[83.2s] Why'd you just freeze after you said that?
[90.2s] I don't know.
[91.2s] I was looking for something to add on to it, but it didn't happen.
[94.2s] It just wasn't there.
[96.2s] Wow.
[97.2s] Every time the bell rings, Grancis gets his wings.
[101.2s] That is the saying.
[103.2s] Yep.
[104.2s] Well, you know, thanks for hanging out for the last two years, you guys.
[107.2s] Three, technically, just not recorded.
[109.2s] More than two.
[110.2s] I thought you were thanking the listeners, and I was like, oh, that's nice.
[112.2s] No, just you guys.
[115.2s] Thanks for showing up.
[116.2s] But also the listeners who have been hanging out with us for two years.
[120.2s] Yeah, that's amazing.
[122.2s] Or a portion depending on when you started listening.
[125.2s] Yeah, if you've been with us since the beginning.
[127.2s] That's crazy, right?
[130.2s] It blows my mind every time I think about it.
[132.2s] Crazy in the best way.
[133.2s] You look hard in the mirror.
[134.2s] So nuts.
[136.2s] At how wonderful you are.
[139.2s] Just drag that podcast icon over to the trash bin and start this new year off right.
[145.2s] No.
[147.2s] Don't do that.
[149.2s] Tom's going to get voted off the podcast right now.
[151.2s] No, I was just kidding.
[153.2s] But you told people to delete us, and now I don't know where to go with this.
[161.2s] Oh, I was clearly kidding.
[163.2s] If you didn't delete us, we thank you.
[166.2s] But also dedicate this episode to a lovely patron, Kyle McSherry.
[171.2s] Thanks, Kyle.
[172.2s] Hey, Kyle.
[173.2s] Thank you.
[174.2s] You're so great.
[175.2s] Kyle, you rock.
[176.2s] Kyle, could you McSherry us with all your friends?
[182.2s] Yeah, do that.
[184.2s] Do that.
[186.2s] But something else that the patrons have been getting is the Discord that we have going on.
[192.2s] The Discord server that we're, as of today, because I'm talking about it right now, opening to the public.
[201.2s] Ooh.
[202.2s] So they've been helping us, you know, flesh out some of the categories, figure out what's working, what's not working, which they've been doing a very great job of.
[210.2s] The food category is hopping.
[212.2s] There's a food category that is literally hopping.
[216.2s] I don't know if it's literally hopping.
[218.2s] It's hopping.
[220.2s] I've forgotten what literally means.
[222.2s] We've all forgotten collectively as a society, so it's fine.
[226.2s] It means nothing and everything.
[228.2s] It's incredible.
[229.2s] It's an amazing word.
[230.2s] But if you join us on our Discord server, as just a lovely listener of Dumbgeons and Dragons, you get access to a whole bunch of things that we normally talk about, like food and memes and Austin Powers.
[245.2s] And Austin Powers memes.
[247.2s] And Austin Powers memes.
[249.2s] A funny fact, if you search Austin Powers D&D meme, we come up like seventh row down.
[256.2s] Yeah, getting that SEO fully optimized.
[260.2s] So if and when Austin Powers 4 actually happens, clearly we need to take some credit for it somehow.
[268.2s] Obviously.
[269.2s] If I could just meet Mike Myers.
[270.2s] I think so.
[271.2s] We're starting a real grassroots push for the new movie.
[275.2s] I feel like we need to start a secondary podcast a la the McElroys, how they were for sure going to be in the Trolls movie.
[282.2s] Yeah, in Trolls 2.
[284.2s] And it worked.
[285.2s] And it worked.
[286.2s] 100% it worked.
[287.2s] So we're going to take a little page out of their book, I think, and we're going to be in Austin Powers 4.
[293.2s] Let's manifest it.
[295.2s] Let's do it.
[296.2s] Manifest destiny.
[297.2s] Manifest the shit out of this.
[298.2s] Alright.
[299.2s] Yeah, come on.
[300.2s] We can do it.
[301.2s] He's Canadian.
[302.2s] Mike Myers is Canadian.
[303.2s] We probably all know someone who knows him.
[305.2s] Probably.
[306.2s] It's a pretty small country.
[307.2s] The seven degrees of separation.
[308.2s] But just not with Canada.
[309.2s] It's only like three degrees in Canada.
[310.2s] It's real good.
[311.2s] In Canada it's like three degrees.
[312.2s] Population's much smaller.
[313.2s] But I mean, if we're talking about Fahrenheit versus Celsius, what kind of degrees are we talking about?
[316.2s] Oh, well then you've lost me.
[317.2s] The conversion doesn't work for me.
[319.2s] Plus 32, so it's 35 degrees of Mike Myers.
[324.2s] Excellent.
[325.2s] Yeah.
[326.2s] Is that what it is?
[327.2s] That's officially what it is?
[329.2s] I don't know.
[330.2s] No, I don't think that's right.
[331.2s] Double it and add 30 to get Fahrenheit.
[333.2s] What?
[334.2s] Yeah.
[335.2s] So it's less in Canada.
[336.2s] That's why it would be free instead of seven.
[337.2s] The math checks out.
[338.2s] Double it and add 30?
[339.2s] Yeah, because zero is 32.
[341.2s] Yeah.
[342.2s] To convert.
[343.2s] So if it's 15 here, that's 60 in America.
[346.2s] Yeah.
[347.2s] What if it's minus 40 here?
[348.2s] Minus 40.
[349.2s] Oh, snap.
[350.2s] Yeah.
[351.2s] We need to talk about something else.
[354.2s] Anyway, this is our podcast within a podcast, Weather Talk.
[359.2s] Very relevant to everyone listening.
[361.2s] Join that Discord.
[363.2s] Come say hi.
[364.2s] We're having a blast over there.
[365.2s] Yeah, join the Discord.
[366.2s] It's fun.
[367.2s] And it's very interactive.
[369.2s] And we're still small enough to be like not too cool to literally be on there every
[375.2s] day talking to people.
[377.2s] It's really the majority of my social interactions.
[380.2s] Right?
[381.2s] Yeah.
[382.2s] Well, you know, like the bigger podcasts have like social media people.
[387.2s] Oh, yeah.
[388.2s] Like, right?
[389.2s] Like, are the McElroys on there all the time just like talking about cake?
[392.2s] I don't know, because I'm too busy being on our Discord talking about cake.
[401.2s] Okay, fuck it.
[402.2s] Let's play D&D.
[403.2s] In the new year, 2019, second year anniversary, Discord, all the things.
[408.2s] All the things.
[409.2s] Here we go.
[410.2s] Doing something different again today.
[412.2s] I don't know if you noticed, but we did something different last week.
[415.2s] Barely noticed.
[416.2s] Something about dinosaurs.
[417.2s] Turned out pretty fun.
[418.2s] A whole lot of hijinks.
[419.2s] And this week, we join our good friend, Grancis, again.
[422.2s] Grancis again.
[423.2s] If he'd had another child, that's probably what he would have been.
[424.2s] He was only able to name his daughter that because his wife died.
[425.2s] Like, there's like no way she would have found that name.
[426.2s] You know she would have shot that name down 100 percent.
[427.2s] Yeah.
[428.2s] She'd be like, I already beat her.
[429.2s] We still haven't been able to do that.
[430.2s] Yeah.
[431.2s] I mean, it's a good thing.
[432.2s] It's a good thing.
[433.2s] It's a good thing.
[434.2s] It's a good thing.
[435.2s] It's a good thing.
[436.2s] It's a good thing.
[437.2s] It's a good thing.
[438.2s] It's a good thing.
[439.2s] It's a good thing.
[440.7s] There's like no way she would have shot that name down 100 percent.
[444.1s] Yeah.
[445.1s] She'd be like, I already beat her.
[446.1s] We still haven't forgiven Grancis, obviously, for his very selfish and weird naming of
[451.4s] his daughter.
[452.4s] Thank you, Patreon.
[453.6s] For that name, really appreciate it.
[456.0s] We do because it's led to all of these jokes, and that's all that matters are
[459.9s] the jokes.
[460.9s] Yeah.
[461.9s] I know, I love it.
[462.9s] So we pick up with our good friend Grancis.
[464.8s] Post-death, he has just passed away aboard the airship.
[470.1s] Saving you all, you're all sorry asses.
[474.7s] That's how you say that, yep.
[476.1s] We appreciated it.
[477.6s] I know we're talking some shit about him now,
[479.2s] but it was sad when he died.
[481.4s] Mostly.
[482.2s] So we've just had the fireside reflection
[484.7s] and he's poofed out of existence from Flint,
[488.0s] Thea, and New Laura,
[488.9s] so we see them going to sleep.
[493.2s] As they do.
[494.1s] Weird, don't watch us while we're sleeping.
[496.4s] And Grancis is kind of in an in-between spot
[499.6s] and he's like, oh fuck, well,
[501.7s] guess I can't say goodbye right now.
[504.0s] Say goodbye later.
[505.0s] And he kind of just wanders off.
[507.2s] It's kind of lonely being dead.
[511.3s] Oh, I wonder if there's anybody out here.
[513.7s] Hello?
[515.6s] Hello?
[516.6s] Hello?
[518.2s] Hello?
[520.1s] Who's there?
[521.9s] What's that?
[525.8s] Somebody?
[527.3s] Anybody?
[528.2s] Great.
[530.0s] Echoes are weird in the afterlife.
[534.2s] It's going on too long.
[538.0s] It kind of gave me a weird feeling of existential dread
[541.7s] when Grancis said it's really lonely in the afterlife
[545.0s] or whatever he said,
[546.0s] and now I can't stop laughing
[547.6s] because I'm fearing my own mortality.
[549.8s] Yeah, that's a terrifying statement.
[551.9s] That's a fun way to start the year.
[554.8s] Happy New Year, everybody dies.
[557.3s] Nobody dies but you.
[559.1s] Oh my God.
[560.0s] Oh boy.
[560.8s] Oh my God, stop it.
[563.0s] Carl, you're gonna make Carla cry.
[565.0s] Don't make Carla cry.
[566.1s] It's 2019.
[567.3s] Leave her alone.
[568.1s] Oh goodness.
[569.5s] Just wait for our good night song
[572.9s] coming up at the end of the podcast.
[574.9s] Please no, please no more good night songs.
[578.2s] Join us on Patreon for all the good night songs.
[581.1s] Yeah, so many good night songs.
[584.3s] But he does hear somebody off in the distance.
[587.7s] And as he goes up to investigate,
[589.8s] he sees three figures, three ghostly figures.
[597.8s] Hey, hey, hey, can you hear me?
[603.0s] Of course.
[604.2s] Yes.
[605.0s] Can you hear me?
[606.8s] Yeah, I mean, I just heard someone
[608.1s] yelling hello back there.
[610.4s] Was that you guys?
[612.0s] Yeah, I was messing with you.
[613.2s] Wasn't that you?
[615.2s] Yeah, well, I was trying to see
[617.3s] if anybody was around and I thought I heard something
[621.2s] and then somebody started laughing hysterically.
[623.7s] I thought it might've just been my friends
[625.2s] who were still alive, you know.
[629.3s] So who are you?
[630.9s] Oh, I'm Fima.
[633.0s] I am Victor.
[635.8s] Yefaris.
[636.8s] I think I said like a swear word.
[639.8s] Stop.
[640.7s] You totally said it like you were calling him something.
[645.4s] Yefaris.
[646.3s] Yefaris?
[647.1s] Yefaris.
[649.2s] Yebasic.
[655.1s] Now, if you were to describe yourselves,
[656.6s] how would you look to the listeners?
[659.9s] So I'm a tiefling.
[661.2s] So I'm like medium humanoid, regular person height.
[666.1s] I'm guessing maybe like a little,
[668.0s] I'm like, I think I'm shorter.
[670.4s] I think I'm about the size I am right now.
[672.5s] I'm a tiny five, one person.
[675.3s] But then my horns are good, like foot and a half.
[681.1s] I have this like deep,
[684.8s] I would say like a deep plum colored skin,
[688.3s] like dark and rich and beautiful.
[691.4s] And I have jet black hair with a silver streak
[696.8s] along the side here, not in the very front,
[698.7s] not rogue, along the temple side.
[702.6s] I'm dressed in your general warlock clothing.
[706.0s] Dressed for adventure because I believe I died in adventure.
[711.9s] Cool.
[712.7s] Yeah.
[713.6s] How about Vima?
[714.7s] Vima is a half elf.
[717.3s] And what I am picturing,
[720.4s] because I'm pretty sure he was a half elf,
[723.6s] is like an androgynous David Bowie late seventies
[727.8s] kind of look.
[728.6s] Amazing.
[730.2s] You know, real tall and thin.
[732.5s] And like, basically, as I'm saying this,
[734.5s] David Bowie was a half elf, right?
[736.6s] 100% sure.
[737.4s] He's not fully human.
[739.2s] He totally was.
[741.4s] I think Labyrinth was just him coming out as a half elf,
[743.8s] but nobody took it seriously enough.
[745.5s] They were like, oh yeah, man, yeah.
[747.2s] All right.
[748.1s] He's like, I'm gonna call myself a goblin king,
[750.8s] but like for real, I'm a half elf.
[753.5s] Yeah.
[754.3s] Make the connection.
[755.2s] So that's kind of my look.
[757.2s] Cool.
[758.7s] But more like flowy kind of robes, I think, you know,
[761.6s] more like Lord of the Rings, elfy kind of,
[764.8s] and sort of like, actually,
[768.0s] it's all happening on the fly.
[769.3s] It's good.
[770.1s] I am dressed, I look like David Bowie,
[771.9s] but I'm dressed like Stevie Nicks.
[774.6s] So like long and flowy and like things move.
[779.3s] Beautiful.
[780.1s] Love it.
[781.6s] Victor.
[783.0s] All right.
[783.8s] Victor is a halfling monk.
[785.8s] So the flowy robe thing continues on with Victor.
[790.3s] A very neutral color palette in the robes.
[793.8s] Kind of a light brown, kind of a khaki color,
[797.5s] if you will.
[799.4s] And Victor is sporting some like
[802.3s] mid back length silver hair that's in one long braid.
[807.4s] As soon as you started describing
[808.8s] the colors of your stuff,
[810.1s] I realized that I had pictured
[812.8s] this whole afterlife scene
[815.6s] in like just a hue of light blue.
[818.3s] Like nothing had color.
[820.7s] Like a sepia tone, but in a blue variety?
[823.3s] Yeah.
[824.8s] And I thought that was very interesting.
[826.1s] I wonder what that says about me.
[827.5s] Do you have some inside knowledge about the afterlife
[829.4s] you'd care to share with the rest of us, Amy?
[831.1s] Nothing had edges, man.
[833.0s] There were no edges.
[834.5s] Okay.
[835.4s] Well, that works well for flowy robes.
[837.6s] So what are you guys doing here in the misty forest?
[840.9s] I mean, I just crashed an airship.
[843.6s] I didn't crash it.
[844.4s] There was a dragon that crashed it.
[845.6s] And then I summoned the powers of that bee
[849.4s] and saved all my friends.
[851.1s] Yeah, none of that matters.
[852.2s] Valiant effort.
[853.1s] Yeah.
[853.9s] My friend, we are no longer in the misty forest.
[857.1s] What?
[858.0s] But, oh, where are we?
[860.4s] Not the misty forest.
[862.0s] The not misty forest.
[863.1s] So like the clearest day forest?
[865.4s] I'm afraid if you're here,
[867.1s] you did not survive your crash.
[870.4s] Oh yeah, no, I know I'm dead.
[872.6s] Okay.
[873.5s] This can be very awkward sometimes, so.
[875.9s] And you think the afterlife is the misty forest?
[879.2s] But I can, oh, okay.
[882.9s] Well, we are there, but not there.
[884.8s] Okay, I think that's what I meant
[886.8s] is that that's where I was last and tree.
[891.2s] Okay.
[892.1s] We will not always never be in the misty forest.
[894.6s] Oh, fuck.
[896.2s] You're forest, right?
[898.2s] Sounds like a swear.
[899.2s] I'm just gonna start calling you
[900.3s] with a little hint of anger in my voice, your forest.
[903.9s] Don't speak to your forest like that.
[907.5s] See, Victor gets it.
[909.4s] You like your misunderstanding.
[911.2s] How are you feeling so recently, deceased?
[915.1s] Later than air.
[917.4s] Little, like I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
[923.0s] Your afterlife?
[924.2s] Yeah, yeah.
[925.0s] What do we do?
[925.9s] Is there like a light?
[926.7s] Gotta work on some of the language.
[928.2s] Sure.
[929.3s] It's an adjustment.
[930.6s] We really like to live in the moment.
[933.5s] Oh, yeah, cause we're around like a time limit.
[937.1s] Like we got so much.
[940.2s] Funny you should mention that.
[942.5s] There seems to be a bit of a disease
[945.8s] that's affecting the afterlife right now.
[950.2s] But we're dead already.
[951.1s] How does the disease affect dead people, things?
[955.2s] That is a very good question.
[957.2s] So sounds like a job for the ghost disease busters.
[966.9s] Are you trying to team up right now?
[968.6s] Is that what we're calling our group?
[971.5s] I came from a team up situation
[973.4s] where they were like, we're gonna put together a team.
[975.7s] And now I'm without a team.
[978.3s] So you guys look like a fine bunch of teammates.
[982.1s] Should we call ourselves the teamsters?
[985.5s] No?
[986.7s] I mean, we have been working towards helping
[991.8s] Vima find a cure for her affliction.
[995.3s] Oh, she's sick.
[997.8s] How do you know she's sick?
[998.8s] He?
[999.6s] Is Vima a man?
[1000.4s] He, he's sick.
[1001.3s] Oh, sorry, I didn't realize.
[1003.6s] Oh, I assumed Vima was.
[1004.6s] Yeah, I thought.
[1005.4s] Am I a man?
[1006.2s] Oh, you can be.
[1007.1s] Oh, I said androgynous.
[1007.9s] I don't know.
[1008.8s] It could be either.
[1009.6s] You kept saying him, so I didn't know.
[1011.5s] Made these people.
[1012.5s] I thought I said she.
[1015.2s] I don't know, you.
[1016.3s] Who cares, right?
[1017.2s] Who cares?
[1018.1s] It's the afterlife.
[1018.9s] It doesn't matter.
[1019.8s] It doesn't matter here.
[1020.6s] How does that work?
[1021.4s] I don't even know.
[1023.2s] Oh, it works.
[1025.5s] Yes, I'm, I'm, I'm ill.
[1028.1s] And my friends here were trying to help me
[1032.0s] find it, find a cure to this disease
[1034.8s] that is affecting not only me,
[1036.3s] but many people here in the afterlife.
[1039.2s] Right.
[1040.2s] Okay.
[1041.4s] That sounds like fun.
[1043.9s] Well, it's not fun.
[1045.4s] I mean, the disease part isn't great.
[1048.1s] I feel like you're misunderstanding a lot of things.
[1051.3s] I mean, that's kind of my,
[1052.6s] that's kind of my modus operandi.
[1055.7s] Oh no.
[1056.5s] Think about it like this.
[1057.5s] If you die on earth,
[1059.0s] there's a place you go,
[1060.0s] and that's here in the afterlife.
[1062.3s] Okay.
[1063.2s] I thought there'd be more like grapes.
[1065.3s] No more, no more interrupt.
[1068.9s] The afterlife is supposed to be the end point.
[1071.9s] There is no after, after life.
[1075.5s] Do you see what I'm saying?
[1076.6s] The, yeah, they mean to be post after.
[1080.6s] No, if people are dying in the afterlife, they're gone.
[1085.1s] They, their essence ceases to be,
[1088.1s] and they do not continue onward.
[1090.0s] And this is what we're trying to fix.
[1092.4s] This has been afflicting everybody.
[1095.2s] Everybody.
[1096.0s] Oh, that's why I haven't run into,
[1097.3s] usually is there like more, more dead people?
[1101.5s] The afterlife is a very big place.
[1103.7s] Oh, I guess so.
[1104.6s] I don't see dead people.
[1106.8s] I'm just saying, I thought I'd see,
[1108.1s] you know, you die and then either you see the light
[1110.5s] or you see more floaty dead people
[1112.8s] and you are the first dead people I've seen.
[1116.2s] I feel like you told us you just died very recently.
[1120.0s] Yeah, it was like 20 minutes ago.
[1121.3s] Did you think there'd be a,
[1122.2s] Not long.
[1123.0s] Okay, so.
[1123.8s] Like a brigade.
[1124.7s] It seems like it's pretty fast
[1126.7s] that you've run into us.
[1128.6s] I don't know how things work in the after,
[1130.3s] after life or after post life.
[1131.6s] Maybe time is different here.
[1134.8s] Time is a construct is what I keep getting told.
[1137.1s] I'd also appreciate it
[1138.4s] if you stop calling everyone dead people.
[1141.2s] Okay, what would you like to be referred to as?
[1143.6s] Euphorus?
[1144.9s] Our names work perfectly well, thank you.
[1147.4s] Okay, I didn't run into any other dead Vima,
[1153.1s] Euphorus or Victors.
[1155.0s] Or people.
[1156.4s] That's what I said.
[1157.8s] No, just cut out the dead part.
[1159.6s] I haven't run, you said dead again.
[1161.7s] Good thing I didn't plan anything for this episode.
[1166.8s] Okay.
[1169.4s] I feel like we're.
[1170.2s] We're just getting into the politics
[1171.3s] and the do's and don'ts of the afterlife.
[1173.0s] Like this is really just.
[1173.9s] You're right, no, this is good.
[1174.7s] This is good world building, I like it.
[1177.7s] Okay, so people who are floaty,
[1181.3s] floaty people who are no longer living.
[1184.6s] Really need to describe.
[1185.9s] Okay, so you were saying you were in a battle.
[1191.1s] Are you a warrior?
[1192.6s] Are you, what are your skills?
[1194.7s] I have the ability to, well, I had,
[1199.1s] I don't know if I still do.
[1200.6s] I had the ability to control things with, I had magic.
[1204.3s] It's a wizard.
[1205.7s] Oh, so yeah, a wizard.
[1207.1s] Yeah, that's, we know what wizards are.
[1209.7s] I just wanted to, I don't know how long
[1212.6s] you've been dead for, maybe there were no wizards.
[1215.5s] Sorry, not dead, just not living.
[1219.3s] We'll just pretend.
[1220.1s] Yeah, we're just gonna blow right past.
[1222.2s] Just try, please.
[1224.0s] We, you retain your earthly skills.
[1229.2s] Sweet. In the afterlife.
[1230.8s] I'm just making this shit up.
[1231.9s] Is that okay?
[1232.7s] Fuck yeah, but. It's gotta be true.
[1233.5s] Yeah, that seems fine, yeah.
[1234.4s] I can assume so, otherwise,
[1235.6s] how are we gonna battle anything?
[1236.5s] Otherwise, Russ put all this work
[1237.5s] into these character sheets. This is what I wrote down.
[1238.6s] And we can't use them,
[1239.7s] because we're dead. I didn't.
[1240.6s] They're pre-constructed builds from wizards.
[1242.2s] You're becoming Grants.
[1244.0s] Yeah, or I'm gonna go to bed tonight,
[1246.4s] I'm gonna be like, good night, honey,
[1247.4s] and it's gonna be like, oh boy, have a good sleep.
[1249.5s] Oh my.
[1251.3s] Perhaps your skills may be useful.
[1256.1s] Okay.
[1256.9s] What do you two think?
[1257.9s] Maybe his skills could be useful in our quest?
[1262.2s] Well, having a wizard with us
[1264.8s] probably would be beneficial.
[1266.9s] I know there's quite a few dangers
[1270.0s] on the way to where I think the cure is.
[1274.1s] Oh, so you know where the cure is?
[1276.1s] Is it like down the street?
[1276.9s] Well, I said I think I know where it is.
[1279.1s] Oh, okay.
[1281.5s] I mean, nobody seems to like it
[1283.5s] when you just put words in our mouths, but.
[1287.1s] Fuck, all right, I get it.
[1290.6s] You don't have to pussy-foot around anything
[1292.2s] in the afterlife.
[1293.5s] I mean, why would you?
[1295.0s] Grants, could you give us just a moment?
[1297.9s] Yeah, I'm just gonna go back over here
[1301.5s] to my friends and kind of poke them
[1305.2s] while they're sleeping.
[1306.1s] Thank you.
[1307.0s] Great.
[1307.9s] Watch just like five feet away from us and just dance.
[1310.1s] Totally.
[1311.3s] Did he say he was gonna poke his friends
[1313.5s] while they slept?
[1314.3s] Yeah, I think here's what I wanted to discuss.
[1318.0s] He could be useful.
[1319.7s] Oh, I think so.
[1321.1s] Wizards are very skilled.
[1322.4s] I don't know that I have ever met
[1324.9s] a more irritating person.
[1326.9s] Oh boy, the frustration level
[1329.5s] is just immediately at 100, isn't it?
[1332.3s] I'm not the only one who thinks it.
[1334.1s] And I mean, like frankly,
[1335.3s] I don't give many people the benefit of the doubt,
[1338.3s] knowing you two think they're the same.
[1339.9s] This is why you don't give people the benefit of the doubt
[1342.7s] because this guy rolls a lot.
[1344.5s] Also, we don't know if he's a good wizard or not.
[1346.9s] We should make him prove himself somehow.
[1350.3s] Oh, maybe, yes, yes.
[1352.5s] Let's ask him for a demonstration.
[1354.3s] Okay.
[1355.1s] And if he does something impressive,
[1357.4s] we'll ask him to join us.
[1359.1s] I know it's very selfish because I'm ill
[1361.7s] and I'm trying to find a cure and maybe he can help.
[1364.3s] We want to find a cure.
[1366.2s] No, Vima, yeah, we need to figure this out.
[1370.7s] I mean, maybe we can just ask him
[1373.9s] to have a quietness contest or something
[1376.9s] and get him to just be.
[1378.6s] That used to work on my children.
[1383.7s] You won that ultimate game, didn't you?
[1385.7s] I really did.
[1386.6s] I mean, no one will ever beat me, my quietness.
[1398.7s] Grancis, Grancis.
[1401.9s] He comes back over.
[1403.6s] He's like, I totally just, I totally just punked Thea.
[1407.4s] I pulled out the stump from underneath her
[1409.3s] while she was trying to sit down.
[1410.9s] Oh boy, it was a good one.
[1414.9s] Oh, okay.
[1417.3s] It seems like you are, you know, looking for some friends
[1422.2s] and might like to come on a little adventure with us.
[1426.2s] That sounds like a good idea.
[1427.6s] But in the interest of, you know, just making sure,
[1433.5s] maybe we could have a little tryout.
[1435.4s] You could kind of show us what you can do
[1439.0s] to see how you benefit the team.
[1440.9s] Yeah, so you want me to do some bippity boppity boops
[1444.7s] and do you like mashed potatoes?
[1446.9s] Is that what you call magic?
[1448.7s] The bippity boppity boop?
[1451.1s] Okay, I mean.
[1451.9s] Guys, I don't know.
[1453.1s] How much of a bippity boppity do you want here?
[1455.8s] You want just the boop?
[1457.1s] The whole boop versus the bippity.
[1460.1s] Oh boy, I am having regrets about this.
[1463.1s] Grancis, we want it all.
[1464.3s] We want to see if you're useful.
[1465.8s] I want it all.
[1466.7s] The most impressive thing you can, okay.
[1469.8s] The most impressive thing you can do.
[1472.7s] And I want it now.
[1474.2s] Please.
[1476.3s] Add it to the Spotify list.
[1477.7s] She's literally dying again, Grancis.
[1481.1s] Can you just speed it up a little bit?
[1481.9s] And I'm literally a musician.
[1483.7s] So if you could not insult my poor bardic soul.
[1488.2s] I get it.
[1489.1s] Hey, I had an instrument back when I was not.
[1494.2s] Back when you were alive.
[1497.8s] Yeah.
[1498.6s] Yeah.
[1499.5s] That's the way to say that.
[1500.6s] She didn't know.
[1503.7s] It was Russ catching Grancis and not saying we're dead.
[1515.2s] Do it.
[1516.1s] Do your bippity boppity.
[1516.9s] Maybe you could show us your.
[1518.9s] Sure, I can do whatever I did before.
[1522.2s] So okay, bippity boppity boop.
[1525.7s] And I'm gonna turn their tent into a frog.
[1530.9s] And he does it.
[1535.5s] What does Theus say when the tent turns into a frog?
[1539.5s] Gee, shit, what the fuck?
[1541.3s] And she sees Flint naked.
[1543.9s] Oh, good Lord, man.
[1546.9s] Put on some pants.
[1547.7s] Yeah, you know, I thought I was in the tent.
[1552.0s] What do you want from me here?
[1554.0s] Pick up that frog, cover your junk with it.
[1555.8s] What the fuck is going on?
[1558.4s] Flint now has frog junk.
[1561.4s] Is it a frog-sized frog or a tent-sized frog?
[1564.0s] Oh my God.
[1565.0s] I was picturing like a tent-sized frog.
[1567.0s] I was picturing just like.
[1567.9s] Oh no, it's just a frog-sized frog is what I was.
[1570.4s] Okay, that's better.
[1571.5s] Cause then otherwise somebody's inside the frog.
[1573.9s] It's a whole thing.
[1574.7s] Yes, it could get very complicated.
[1576.4s] Okay.
[1579.0s] That's what happened.
[1581.9s] Grancis.
[1583.1s] Yeah.
[1584.7s] Cool trick.
[1585.5s] Thank you, thank you.
[1587.1s] I thought I was pretty impressed with myself.
[1589.4s] Now he's got frog junk.
[1590.7s] Just.
[1597.7s] We are going on an interplanar journey.
[1600.7s] Okay.
[1601.6s] And I'm wondering how you think
[1603.6s] that turning something into a frog might help us.
[1608.0s] Sometimes you just need a frog buddy.
[1612.4s] Now, are things like demons,
[1617.2s] do they, are they susceptible to being turned into frogs?
[1621.2s] To being turned into frog junk?
[1622.5s] You betcha.
[1623.5s] I think I've turned a demon into frogs before.
[1626.1s] Anyways.
[1627.1s] So you want something bigger.
[1628.3s] You want, you're trying to like,
[1630.0s] okay, you want it.
[1631.0s] Where are you gonna go?
[1633.9s] Well, it's pretty dangerous.
[1636.2s] Oh, fuck.
[1637.0s] Danger's my middle name.
[1637.9s] So we have to make sure you're up for it.
[1638.7s] Look, I died.
[1639.9s] I died dangerously.
[1642.3s] I'm up for it.
[1643.3s] What do I gotta lose?
[1644.2s] I'm dead.
[1645.3s] To be honest, that shows us
[1646.9s] that maybe you're not up for it.
[1649.1s] Well, I mean, yeah, touche.
[1652.9s] All right, well, got nothing there.
[1655.7s] All right.
[1656.5s] So I can, I can like, you know, dimension door.
[1660.3s] I can, I can jump from planes to planes.
[1664.0s] I can control the minds of people.
[1668.3s] I can do this.
[1669.1s] Yep, yep, no, just reel it in.
[1670.7s] Reel it in there, Grants, just reel it on in.
[1673.7s] Okay.
[1674.8s] Those all sound.
[1677.0s] Better than the frog tent.
[1678.1s] Perhaps helpful.
[1679.0s] Watch this, the fog.
[1679.8s] Perhaps helpful.
[1681.1s] There's fog.
[1683.4s] Is there like a rhyming thing?
[1685.1s] The frog, the fog.
[1687.5s] He pulled out the log.
[1688.3s] Is it one of those word games
[1689.8s] where you just change one letter.
[1690.7s] Do you remember Alf?
[1691.5s] He's back, but in pog form?
[1696.6s] Oh God, we should just keep him and I don't know.
[1699.9s] I can levitate too,
[1700.9s] but I think that's more being dead now
[1702.7s] than actually levitating.
[1704.9s] Yeah, we can, we can all levitate.
[1707.2s] Well, what do you do?
[1710.4s] Okay, so do you want to come with us?
[1712.7s] Yeah, how long are we going?
[1714.9s] Cause I wanted to kind of, you know,
[1717.1s] punk my friends a little bit more,
[1719.0s] but how long are we going?
[1720.6s] Where are we going?
[1721.8s] I think your friends will have to wait
[1723.8s] while we journey.
[1725.9s] All right, so we gotta go somewhere.
[1728.6s] Where are we gonna go?
[1730.7s] We need to shift planes.
[1736.3s] Like just a little to the left,
[1738.7s] just a little to the right.
[1741.1s] No.
[1742.0s] Can you shimmy all around?
[1742.8s] No, not at all.
[1745.9s] No, okay.
[1747.4s] I thought the bird was gonna jump in there
[1749.1s] with a little bit of shimmy.
[1750.6s] I think she asked you not to.
[1752.4s] I was just trying to engage.
[1753.2s] Victor does that thing where he exhales
[1755.7s] and pinches his nose
[1757.9s] and just like takes a deep breath.
[1762.0s] Okay, yeah, so we need to shift planes
[1765.5s] and it's quite dangerous.
[1767.5s] Yeah.
[1768.3s] There are quite often demons
[1770.5s] and other unsavory things lurking in these planes.
[1774.3s] So you're going to some demon planes?
[1775.6s] Good, good, we're narrowing in on it.
[1777.9s] Yeah.
[1778.8s] Okay.
[1779.6s] So if you're ready,
[1782.2s] then we'll be on our way.
[1785.6s] Okay, am I shifting or are you shifting?
[1788.3s] We're all going to shift together,
[1789.9s] so we're going to link hands in a circle.
[1792.4s] Okay, yep.
[1794.9s] All right, say the magic words with me.
[1797.4s] Oh, there are no magic words.
[1799.8s] No, I'm pretty sure the plane shifted.
[1802.4s] Just keep a clear mind
[1805.2s] and a deep breath
[1807.8s] and we've shifted planes.
[1811.0s] Oh, boy.
[1812.6s] Euphorus kinda like shakes Grancis's hand off of her
[1816.3s] because he was doing this weird like touching her wrist thing
[1819.7s] while they were holding hands.
[1823.6s] Personal space Grancis.
[1825.2s] So like where did we shift to?
[1826.9s] This looks kinda like an abyss type situation
[1833.0s] going on here.
[1835.5s] It's real dark.
[1836.6s] Yes, to get closer to our end goal,
[1840.9s] we had to shift into a demon plane.
[1843.5s] It's necessary to get closer.
[1845.7s] Okay, okay, good.
[1846.9s] So probably the abyss.
[1849.1s] Abyss isn't a great place.
[1850.3s] I've been here once before
[1852.2s] and we didn't stay very long because,
[1855.1s] well, there's a lot of demons, so.
[1858.7s] Oh, yeah, we will not be staying a long time.
[1862.0s] All right, all right.
[1863.6s] We are here looking for an amulet
[1869.7s] that we need.
[1870.9s] Okay.
[1873.9s] We just need to nip in real quick here.
[1876.6s] Grab this amulet and then we're gonna just scoot right
[1882.5s] on out of this plane.
[1884.3s] Just like that.
[1885.1s] Okay, yeah, we got it.
[1886.3s] Just like that.
[1887.3s] Yeah, perfect.
[1888.5s] So I am going to cast a spell
[1894.1s] to try to seek the material
[1898.9s] that the amulet is made out of
[1902.8s] because it is an uncommon mineral on this plane.
[1907.8s] So we should be able to find it.
[1909.8s] All right.
[1910.9s] And in the distance, we see a blue glow
[1919.1s] from this copper amulet
[1922.5s] that is just giving off a faint glow.
[1926.7s] So we can slightly see that.
[1928.3s] Unfortunately, probably also means like
[1932.1s] some baddies can see it.
[1934.1s] All right, so is that what we need?
[1936.8s] Yes.
[1937.7s] That's what we need.
[1938.5s] We must make haste towards it.
[1940.4s] Easy peasy, let's go, here we go, all right.
[1942.9s] And Grants starts moving forward towards the thing.
[1945.3s] I knew we brought him for a reason.
[1947.2s] What is everybody else doing
[1948.3s] as he's walking towards this amulet?
[1950.4s] We're all heading that way.
[1951.3s] I'm also walking towards it.
[1952.7s] Yeah, you bet.
[1953.8s] I'm on high alert.
[1955.3s] I'm ready with a fire bolt in my hand.
[1960.9s] Everybody make a perception check as you walk forward.
[1967.2s] Say 15.
[1969.2s] 12.
[1970.0s] 15.
[1971.7s] As everybody gets within about 10 to 15 feet
[1974.5s] of this blue amulet,
[1975.7s] you hear a growl coming from behind you.
[1980.1s] More of a snarling, deep guttural noise.
[1985.3s] And the room illuminates.
[1989.2s] And you see a giant gorilla-like demon.
[1994.8s] And Grants' turns around, he's like, oh, boy.
[1999.9s] Hello there, I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[2006.5s] Happy New Year, happy 2019.
[2008.7s] Thank you for joining us for episode 69
[2010.5s] of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2012.3s] Grants us again.
[2013.8s] A final quick reminder
[2015.1s] that today is the last day over in our T-Public store
[2017.8s] linked in the description.
[2019.1s] When you visit, you can make a purchase
[2022.0s] and enter the promo code DUMDRAGON at checkout,
[2024.4s] and you will receive 30% off your entire order
[2027.5s] for being a Dumbgeons and Dragons listener.
[2029.8s] We've partnered with T-Public along with this one
[2032.2s] to offer you these great end of year,
[2034.7s] beginning of year savings
[2037.0s] to celebrate 2018 that was and 2019 to come.
[2041.2s] So one more time, our T-Public store link
[2043.7s] is in the description or over on our website,
[2046.4s] dumdragons.com.
[2048.0s] Enter the promo code DUMDRAGON at checkout
[2050.7s] and get 30% off your order
[2052.9s] till the end of the day today
[2054.6s] as this is released January 2nd.
[2057.4s] You're gonna keep on the train
[2058.3s] of not keeping you around for too long here
[2060.3s] listening to me ramble on,
[2061.6s] but we have a Patreon community,
[2063.5s] Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast.
[2065.6s] And Patreon is a lovely site
[2068.8s] where people can support the creators that they love.
[2072.2s] And for a monthly pledge,
[2073.5s] you can join an amazing community
[2075.1s] that we have going on there
[2076.5s] of people who help make the show better
[2079.1s] with every single episode.
[2080.7s] Part of being a patron this past month
[2083.5s] was helping us test drive our Discord server,
[2086.2s] which is now open to the public.
[2087.9s] Link is down in the description.
[2089.2s] If you're on Discord and you like what we're doing
[2091.7s] and you wanna talk to us more,
[2093.4s] go head over there, we'd love to see you.
[2095.7s] You'll have access to all the general channels.
[2097.7s] Patrons will have access to Patreon only channels
[2100.6s] where we can talk about all great things
[2102.6s] that happen on Patreon.
[2104.6s] And Patreon has a ton of other great perks
[2107.6s] for joining us in our community,
[2109.6s] Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast.
[2113.5s] You can find all of our social media links
[2115.0s] and where to get ahold of us through our website
[2116.7s] at dumdragons.com.
[2118.6s] And a big thanks to Syrinscape
[2119.9s] for some of the amazing atmosphere.
[2121.7s] Make sure you check them out at syrinscape.com
[2123.8s] to bring your games to life.
[2125.4s] Links for everything mentioned today
[2126.7s] can be found in the description.
[2128.3s] And the next episode will be out Wednesday,
[2131.2s] January 9th, that's next Wednesday.
[2133.5s] And when we'll be back to our lovely,
[2135.6s] fine adventures, Flint, Thea, and New Laura,
[2138.3s] and their visits home.
[2140.8s] But that's all for now.
[2141.7s] Have a great week.
[2142.8s] We'll talk soon.
[2144.1s] Oh boy.
[2146.1s] Oh boy.
[2150.1s] Let's say, all right, do you guys know
[2152.9s] that those guys were here?
[2155.8s] We had an idea.
[2157.5s] Yes, it is a possibility.
[2159.8s] Another one lands on the other side.
[2161.6s] Well, you should have told me
[2162.6s] that the both girl are here.
[2164.8s] Cause they're not gonna let us
[2166.1s] take this thing very easily.
[2168.3s] And they begin charging towards you.
[2170.1s] Roll for initiative.
[2171.8s] And I yell, who said it was gonna be easy?
[2175.6s] Don't you remember when we asked you
[2177.0s] to do useful things?
[2178.5s] This is why.
[2180.8s] Touche, touche.
[2182.4s] 11.
[2184.1s] 22.
[2185.1s] 19.
[2186.0s] Well, this really feels like just a regular game.
[2188.3s] I'm a spellcaster who can't roll for shit.
[2193.0s] As the Barlgura charge forward,
[2194.7s] Vima, you are up first.
[2196.8s] Great.
[2198.8s] I am going to
[2202.1s] uh, cast banishing smite as a bonus action.
[2207.5s] But then I am also going to,
[2210.1s] shh, and how far away are they?
[2212.1s] They are closing in about 15 to 20 feet.
[2215.3s] I am going to attack one of them with my rapier.
[2221.8s] Okay.
[2224.4s] That is a 20.
[2226.3s] 20 will hit.
[2229.0s] My weapon, crackling with force.
[2231.9s] It's very impressive.
[2232.9s] So, the regular plain old weapon
[2236.6s] only gives it nine damage.
[2239.7s] But then, I get to give it five D10 more.
[2244.5s] 25 damage.
[2249.0s] If that reduces it below 50 HP, you let me know.
[2252.7s] It does.
[2254.2s] Oh, great.
[2255.0s] Well, I just banished it then.
[2256.7s] It moves to a different plane of existence
[2259.1s] than the one we're on.
[2262.0s] If it is native to the plane we're on,
[2264.2s] which I assume it is,
[2265.5s] it moves into a harmless demi plane.
[2268.6s] Okay, you strike this Barlgura
[2271.8s] as it yells out in a guttural yell
[2275.5s] as you strike into it.
[2277.0s] It poops out of existence.
[2279.6s] And it doesn't come back,
[2280.9s] it's just gone for good?
[2282.1s] It's gone for one minute.
[2284.7s] Okay, perfect.
[2286.6s] Okay, so 10 rounds.
[2287.9s] It's Victor.
[2289.3s] All right, so Victor is going to hurry forward
[2294.1s] and use his magical fists with a flurry of blows.
[2299.8s] Do it.
[2300.7s] All right, here we go.
[2301.5s] I should have got more D20s, but here we go.
[2304.5s] First one is an 18.
[2306.7s] Second one is a 13.
[2310.5s] And third one is an 11.
[2313.8s] Only one of those will hit.
[2315.9s] Okey-dokey.
[2317.8s] Oh, sweet, that's 10 damage.
[2320.5s] That makes up for whiffing on the other two.
[2322.7s] You rush forward and connect square in the jaw
[2326.9s] of this giant gorilla-like creature.
[2329.9s] And it sends just this mucus and vile disgustingness
[2335.3s] out of its mouth.
[2336.7s] And it turns and looks at you
[2338.3s] with a bit of a smile as you do so.
[2342.5s] And it is Grant's sister.
[2345.6s] And he's like, well, should I grab the thing
[2347.9s] or should we fight these?
[2349.7s] Do we got a place to go or we?
[2351.2s] Okay, we're gonna fight it.
[2352.1s] Well, are you better at fighting or running?
[2355.1s] I can fight good.
[2356.2s] Okay, we're gonna show you some fun
[2360.3s] and it's not gonna rhyme with frog.
[2362.9s] Oh, boy.
[2364.6s] And he casts lightning bolt towards the creature,
[2371.0s] which will miss Victor
[2374.4s] because of the position that he is in,
[2376.9s] but the thing must make a dexterity saving throw.
[2379.0s] It was real dicey there for a second.
[2380.7s] It was.
[2382.1s] 14 for its saving throw, which it does not make,
[2385.6s] so it gets 86 lightning damage.
[2389.0s] So that's gonna be 30 damage.
[2391.6s] 30, lightning strikes it and it begins to crackle
[2395.1s] and sizzle its fur.
[2399.0s] And it takes a knee as it loses its breath.
[2404.3s] And it's.
[2405.8s] Yeah, far as this turn.
[2407.0s] There's only the one creature left, correct?
[2409.0s] Yep.
[2409.9s] So I cast Eldritch Blast on it with two beams.
[2417.9s] 19.
[2418.7s] 19 will hit.
[2419.6s] Woo.
[2420.5s] All right, so 2d10, eight damage.
[2425.9s] It's its turn and he jumps up
[2428.9s] after taking this lightning and punches
[2431.8s] and he is going to jump up
[2437.0s] and recklessly attack Victor.
[2442.7s] Bring it.
[2445.1s] That was a 17 on the one that I'm pretty sure.
[2449.1s] Now, Russ, I have a question for you.
[2451.8s] What does the dodge action mean?
[2456.5s] You use a key point as a bonus action on your turn
[2460.9s] and then until your next turn, you can.
[2464.8s] Oh, it just says a bonus action.
[2466.6s] It didn't say anything about my turn.
[2468.0s] Bonus actions are on your turn.
[2469.5s] Reactions are on other people's turns.
[2471.7s] Okay, gotcha.
[2472.6s] So you have to spend the key.
[2473.4s] So you spent your key point
[2474.6s] to use your Flurry of Blows that turn.
[2476.4s] To punchy punch, yeah.
[2478.1s] Whereas you can spend that key point
[2480.1s] to do any of the other stuff on your sheet there.
[2482.8s] Okay.
[2484.6s] But like, what would a dodge,
[2486.0s] like what would it mean
[2487.1s] if I were to enact this dodge skill?
[2489.3s] The opponent would roll with disadvantage.
[2492.7s] Okay.
[2493.6s] Or you would have advantage on saving throws
[2495.5s] of dexterity or other movie type stuff.
[2500.1s] Okay.
[2501.0s] Yeah.
[2502.0s] But he's gonna hit you once with his fist.
[2504.3s] Bring it.
[2505.1s] It's gonna be seven bludgeoning damage
[2506.9s] as he jumps up and lands down
[2508.6s] and connects with one of his fists.
[2510.4s] Punch for a punch there.
[2512.1s] And then we're back to Vima.
[2514.6s] I am going to, once again,
[2518.2s] fire, I'm going to cast Conjure Barrage
[2522.2s] and then shoot my hand crossbow at this mofo.
[2528.2s] Perfect.
[2530.3s] So that is a 27.
[2533.5s] That's gonna hit.
[2534.9s] I get to do my normal damage, which is.
[2540.0s] This very like forceful statement that's happening.
[2544.4s] So that's six regular damage.
[2547.5s] And then they have to take,
[2550.6s] oh, you have to do a save.
[2551.8s] Sorry, I'm terrible with spells.
[2554.2s] Dex saving throw.
[2555.9s] 24.
[2557.6s] It seems all right.
[2559.9s] It seems like a pretty good one,
[2561.4s] but you still take half damage of my 3d8,
[2567.9s] which is 10.
[2571.5s] He's looking bad,
[2572.5s] but he knows he has to try and protect this amulet
[2575.5s] that you guys have come here for.
[2577.6s] He's still coming towards you.
[2580.5s] It is Victor's turn.
[2583.7s] All right.
[2585.0s] Victor is just gonna do his couple punches
[2589.6s] and see how that goes.
[2590.7s] No key point this time around.
[2594.3s] So the first one is a 23.
[2597.5s] Second one is a 17.
[2601.1s] Both will hit.
[2602.2s] Okay.
[2603.4s] First one.
[2606.0s] That's nine.
[2607.5s] And second one, eight.
[2610.7s] So 17 in total.
[2613.5s] Tell me what happens when you kill this Barlgura.
[2617.0s] I literally punch him so hard he ceases to exist.
[2622.2s] He just blinks.
[2623.2s] He just like vanishes.
[2625.9s] He poofs.
[2626.8s] Yeah, I like that.
[2628.9s] So much like when Vima made the other one disappear,
[2634.0s] this one disappears as well,
[2636.2s] but there's a fine mist.
[2640.1s] Don't bring it in.
[2640.9s] Behind this one.
[2641.8s] Don't bring it in.
[2642.6s] It's a different mist.
[2643.5s] Thanos snapped his hand and that was it for that guy.
[2646.7s] Yeah, a little less ashy, a little more bloody.
[2650.6s] Perfect.
[2651.4s] Like a pink mist.
[2652.3s] Yeah, yeah.
[2654.0s] But he is gone.
[2657.1s] And you are standing with the blue amulet
[2660.2s] that you came for.
[2662.1s] I'm gonna go get the amulet and put it on
[2666.9s] to see if I feel any better.
[2669.9s] Can I investigate the thing for traps first
[2672.5s] where the amulet is sitting?
[2674.6s] I mean, she's already put it on.
[2675.9s] Oh, damn it.
[2678.5s] Was there any traps?
[2679.4s] Am I dead?
[2680.2s] I mean, you're dead.
[2681.3s] You're dead.
[2682.2s] Super dead.
[2683.0s] Yeah, are you super dead?
[2684.5s] Ultra dead.
[2685.4s] No, you feel the warmth of the amulet
[2688.9s] glowing on your,
[2691.1s] I don't know if you can feel warmth of glowing.
[2694.8s] It doesn't do anything.
[2696.7s] So we need the other of the puzzle.
[2699.5s] The other half of the stone,
[2702.3s] which is in a ring on another plane.
[2707.1s] Yeah, so we will have to plane shift again
[2709.9s] to the mirror plane.
[2711.6s] Everybody join hands.
[2712.9s] We gotta hold hands again?
[2714.2s] Okay, good.
[2715.0s] Here we go.
[2715.9s] I go in between Victor and Luma.
[2717.8s] Come on, you pharous.
[2720.7s] We were gonna be best friends by the end of this.
[2722.5s] Guess not.
[2724.8s] Now remember, clear your mind, deep breath,
[2730.3s] and we've shifted planes again.
[2732.4s] Oh, that was quick.
[2734.7s] Good job.
[2735.8s] Hey, it's kind of dark here.
[2738.0s] Yes, considerably darker than the last one.
[2741.4s] I thought we were going to the mirror plane.
[2742.6s] I hear it's mirrory there.
[2743.6s] This doesn't seem like a mirror plane.
[2748.3s] Just because it is called the mirror plane
[2750.9s] does not mean it is a plane filled with mirrors.
[2753.8s] You understand that, right?
[2756.1s] You see, in the mirror plane,
[2759.1s] things are opposite or reversed.
[2761.3s] Directions are reversed.
[2762.4s] It's not literally a world just made of mirrors.
[2766.1s] No, no, yeah.
[2767.7s] It's not a large change room.
[2770.7s] It is not.
[2771.6s] It is not a dance studio.
[2773.5s] Okay, Touche.
[2774.3s] It is not.
[2775.9s] Off in the distance, you see a crack of light
[2781.8s] begin to shine into the darkness.
[2784.9s] I start walking towards it.
[2786.9s] Yes, let's go investigate.
[2790.6s] Okay, sounds good.
[2793.8s] Four of you begin to walk towards the crack of light,
[2797.3s] and as you get closer, it gets wider.
[2801.9s] Vima and Jafarus and Grancis make a constitution saving throw
[2813.1s] with disadvantage.
[2815.4s] But I rolled a nat 20.
[2817.8s] It's gotta be with disadvantage.
[2819.2s] Such a doink.
[2821.0s] Fine, eight, happy?
[2822.7s] Classic doink.
[2824.9s] I rolled a two and a three, so.
[2827.3s] Didn't matter.
[2828.2s] That's a four or a five, and a fail either way.
[2831.7s] I'm sickly.
[2833.0s] I get it.
[2833.8s] It's perfect.
[2835.5s] It makes sense.
[2837.3s] Grancis got an 18.
[2840.0s] As you begin walking towards this light,
[2843.6s] you feel like you are being pulled towards it.
[2848.5s] The speed at which you are moving increases.
[2852.5s] Grancis is able to fight back a little bit,
[2855.1s] but Vima and Jafarus are being pulled into the light.
[2859.6s] I look at Vima and I say, is this ironic?
[2865.8s] As you get closer to the light, you see beyond it,
[2872.5s] and you see a horde of demons
[2878.2s] scratching and clawing to get their way through this light.
[2885.4s] Nope.
[2886.5s] Don't fight it.
[2887.9s] Don't fight it.
[2888.8s] You've been brought here to help my master, Orcus,
[2892.5s] escape from the abyss.
[2895.0s] You will power his return.
[2898.7s] I beg your, excuse me?
[2900.5s] You see.
[2901.5s] Yeah, what?
[2903.2s] Orcus has been biding his time.
[2905.5s] He's been waiting for the right moment to strike.
[2909.1s] And with the mortals all concerned about the return
[2912.6s] of Tiamat and everything else that's going on up there
[2915.4s] that they're very worried about,
[2917.6s] we've been plotting his return.
[2920.6s] And you are just the beginning.
[2922.7s] Go towards the light.
[2924.2s] Grancis, get him.
[2925.4s] As he finishes that phrase,
[2927.9s] you both are sucked into the light,
[2930.3s] and this crack begins to fracture higher up
[2934.8s] into whatever plane you are in.
[2938.7s] Vima and Jafarus are gone.
[2941.4s] What fresh hell is this?
[2943.0s] Oh, like literally.
[2943.8s] It is a fresh hell.
[2946.0s] It is a fresh hell.
[2947.8s] I wish I said it on purpose.
[2950.1s] The crack begins to open and claws begin to break free,
[2954.5s] tearing open into Orcus's domain deeper in the abyss.
[2960.5s] Hey, so you guys weren't really friends, were you then?
[2964.7s] Oh no, and it's your turn to join them.
[2968.0s] You annoying, annoying man.
[2970.5s] Oh boy, no, not happening.
[2972.8s] I complain, shift out of here,
[2974.4s] and he begins to run in the opposite direction.
[2979.5s] Let me see here.
[2980.3s] Let me see what my halfling has here for stopping this.
[2984.4s] I've got halfling nimbleness.
[2986.9s] Are your little legs really gonna take you over there?
[2989.6s] You're very fast, probably.
[2990.7s] I can move up to 45 feet.
[2995.1s] No, that's not so fast.
[2997.7s] Less impressive, we scream from joy.
[3001.1s] That is faster than Grancis.
[3002.1s] Faster than Grancis.
[3004.2s] Okay, so you begin to move.
[3005.5s] What are you doing as you reach him
[3006.9s] as he's running and beginning the verbal components
[3010.3s] of his own plane shift spell?
[3012.6s] I'm gonna take a page out of the Cobra Kai handbook
[3016.2s] because that's what all demons study,
[3018.8s] and I'm gonna sweep the leg.
[3021.0s] I'm gonna sweep the leg.
[3024.1s] With halfling and monk nimbleness, you sweep the leg,
[3027.7s] and Grancis goes down,
[3029.3s] and the light begins to consume the plane that you are in.
[3033.9s] As Grancis hits the ground,
[3035.9s] he says the last portion of his spell,
[3039.6s] and everything disappears in a white light.
[3044.3s] We see demons crawling forth from this crack,
[3050.5s] and beyond, much farther away,
[3054.5s] we see another crack forming to the material plane.
[3058.7s] ["Incompetent," by Kavin MacLeod, playing in background.]
[3074.9s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin MacLeod
[3077.3s] of Incompetent.Filmmusic.io.
[3081.3s] All together now.
[3082.3s] Russ is really just dropping a lot of, a lot of.
[3085.2s] Sorry, I had to sell you out, guys.
[3086.6s] A lot of Ways the World's ending,
[3088.1s] and also, what the fuck?
[3089.5s] Right, I really felt, the entire time,
[3091.2s] I felt like they had much more information than me,
[3093.8s] and I was like, oh my god,
[3095.2s] Russ gave everyone secret information than me.
[3097.2s] Carla was coming up with everything on the spot.
[3099.4s] Carla was coming all on the fly.
[3101.0s] Tom just had to fuck everybody over in the end.
[3103.0s] I thought this was what we were all doing.
[3104.5s] Yeah.
[3106.3s] Did you get real scared for a minute, Russ,
[3107.7s] when Tom was like, what character sheet?
[3109.7s] Well, yeah, I legitimately had no idea.
[3111.3s] Had no idea that there was a character sheet.
[3112.8s] The character sheet was fine.
[3115.5s] Oh, I see.
[3116.4s] You just sent him a secret message.
[3117.5s] Oh, yeah, I did.
[3118.3s] Secret messages.
[3119.1s] You get to kill your friends.
[3120.0s] I got a secret Discord DM.
[3122.3s] Oh, fun.
[3124.5s] Hey, you wanna fuck everybody over?
[3126.0s] And Tom was like, yeah.
[3128.3s] Okay, you guys ready?
[3129.4s] Oh, totally ready.
[3130.3s] Cause I can't edit out your,
[3131.6s] I can't edit out your Snickers.
[3134.3s] So, eat it already.
[3135.5s] Geez, Amy.
[3138.1s] All right, just gonna turn the mic away from Amy.
[3140.5s] Inspired joke.
[3142.1s] I like it.
[3142.9s] Instead of Amy's face,
[3143.7s] I just see a microphone now.
[3145.2s] I just see the microphone.
[3148.7s] She's not in the podcast right now.
[3151.0s] Well, it's just like perfectly framed.
[3152.5s] It's like her hair and the headphones
[3154.5s] and then the microphone covering her face.
[3156.9s] Amy is the microphone.
[3157.8s] Yep, exactly.
[3158.6s] I'm actually not a real person.
[3160.1s] I'm just a microphone.
[3161.8s] It's a real ex machina situation
[3163.8s] going on here at the Morehouse.
[3166.8s] For our patrons,
[3167.9s] you can see this part in this video now
[3170.9s] up on our Patreon.
[3173.2s] Oh, you can?
[3174.3s] Yeah, absolutely.
[3175.3s] I would have thought
[3176.1s] we're starting with this one.
[3176.9s] We're starting with this one.
[3177.8s] It's the newest.
[3178.8s] Oh, this is classic Amy.
[3180.1s] This is the robe that we've just mentioned
[3183.5s] so many times.
[3184.3s] I am instantly like so self-conscious.
[3187.5s] The robe is the best thing
[3189.1s] and I literally was chanting robe
[3190.9s] when I saw it before we started recording.
[3192.9s] So, I think people should be delighted
[3195.2s] they get to see it.
[3196.5s] Because it's so soft and fuzzy and warm
[3200.9s] and it is like classic us all playing together
[3204.4s] in the same place and I love it.
[3206.8s] And yes people,
[3207.6s] if you're doing the math,
[3208.5s] this robe is over three years old.
[3212.5s] Yeah.
[3213.5s] There's no expiry date on a cozy robe.
[3216.3s] Thank you.
[3217.2s] We said it was the new year
[3218.1s] and this episode, I mean.
[3219.8s] I know, but like a little heads up
[3221.6s] in a good night.
[3223.0s] See, now we've set the bar.
[3225.0s] Cause this isn't the new year.
[3226.0s] You set this for Foxing Day.
[3227.1s] The next episode comes out in the new year though
[3229.1s] and these are all packaged into one video.
[3232.1s] Oh.
[3232.9s] Do you wanna argue this
[3233.7s] or do you want me to get to my narration?
[3234.6s] No, here's the thing Amy.
[3236.1s] We don't have.
[3237.0s] I have no makeup on.
[3238.3s] You're wearing your robe.
[3239.7s] If we put in any kind of effort
[3241.7s] for the next one,
[3242.6s] people are gonna be like,
[3243.5s] damn, they look great.
[3246.4s] Yeah, it's good to set the bar.
[3247.8s] Exactly.
[3248.6s] It's great.
[3249.5s] It's Russ's turn as a favor.
[3251.6s] You're welcome.
[3252.4s] Dragons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.